Silly Slang Song
By Eric Bogle
Gary famously performed this at London’s Pizza on the Park, where a guest was so offended (and drunk) he threw two salt-cellars at the stage. Read more here, including a typically witty comment from the author, Eric Bogle.
Gary tweaked a few of the lyrics for greater local relevance.
Do you remember the day when if you said that you were gay
It meant with joy, you could sing and shout?
When a fairy was enchanting and dressing up and camping
Was something you did with the Scouts?
That care free age when an urgent case of AIDS
Was powdered milk we sent to the Sahara.
A fruit was something nice to eat, a poof was something for your feet
And a queen was some old girl in a tiara.
Chorus:
Look what we’ve done to the old Mother Tongue
It’s a crime, the way we’ve misused it.
It’s been totally diswoggled, pulverised and gollywoggled
We’ve strangled, fangled, mangled and abused it.
Do you remember the time when a bong meant a chime
And a buzz was a noise insecticidal
A joint meant something between bones and getting really stoned
Only happened to bad people in the Bible.
When a really bad trip, meant you fell and broke your hip
Cold turkey just meant Christmas at your daughters
Coke was something that you burned, smack was something that you earned
From your mumsy-wumsy when you had been naughty.
Chorus
Gone are the days I’m afraid, when only eggs got laid
And only the rhinoceros got horny
Only kangaroos jumped, only camels humped
Getting stuffed meant a little taxidermy
Swinging was for trapezes or Tarzan’s chimpanzees
Tossing off was something Scotsmen did with cabers.
I’ve no idea what that means and there’s no more to be gleaned
When we read our politicians in the papers
Chorus